Not Again!

by starrsh1ne

Okay so I completely disappeared. I went on a binder crazy eating. I completely lost control for, what, I don’t know two weeks. I gained 15 pounds! Do you know how long I worked to lose that weight? Grrrr. I am so angry at myself. I went on a five day semi juice cleanse (still breastfeeding), lost 5 pounds, and then went on another 2 day binder. I am now on day 3 of eating normal amounts again. Will I ever make it to day 21? I wonder where my will power is when it comes to food. I have weighed 210 pounds before and I have weighed 120 pounds. Right now I am about 160. I used to be anorexic with bouts of binge eating but then I would throw up. I guess when I think about it I have never really been all that great with food. I feel like I eat healthy whole foods. I love being vegan, but then I turn into this terrifying food zombie stuffing anything I can in my mouth. How healthy is that? I crave sweets so I will eat chocolate, but then that  makes me feel like I really wanted salty so I eat chips. Then that makes me feel like I really wanted cheese, so…Etc. You get the point. I need to get this under control. I especially hate eating chocolate with my daughter sitting next to me stuffing her face as well. I want her to be healthy and have a good relationship with food. So here I go again. Wish me luck@